What better to way to mock dear friends' photo save-the-date cards, baby announcements or kids' school pics? Go ahead, stick a sombrero on your new sister in law!
Dress Up Your Friends Magnetic Frame Set $9.95 @ Fridgedoor.com
Because nothing says it's time to rise and shine quite like a toast, you need to get yourself one of these here toast-shaped clocks... perfect for the home kitchen, or to be given as a gift at weddings, birthdays, and bat mitzvahs. No, seriously.
Toast Clock, $19.95 @ Archie McPhee
I think we've established that I am a tremendous geek, and not ashamed of it. And so it shouldn't really surprise you that I almost jumped out of my skin with joy upon spying this Atari joystick-shaped candleholder.
That shit is DOPE, am I right? Who wants to buy me one? heh.
Retro Joy candleholder, £ 50.00 @ Mixko
OK, I am Canadian. July 1st is Canada Day. It is just like the Fourth of July except less picnics, patriotic fervor and general reverence for Nationalism. I am not dissin', I am just saying. We could learn more about Country love from the of U.S. of A. Meanwhile, covet this fabulous embroidered pillow and dream about socialized health care, less gun violence and more snow. It is available at Roots, Canada's bastion of apparel and apparently this fabulous pillow. I have seen these for other countries parts of the world and even one for Napa Valley when I was visiting there this past Spring.
I am sure you can rest your head on it and it is interesting, pretty and a conversation piece! It is a visual homage to the country where I live and like quite a bit. I don't have a flag on my lawn, but I would love to have this pillow on my sofa.
Hand-embroidered Canada pillow $210.00 @ roots.com
Doormats with "Welcome" emblazoned on them are a dime a dozen. So howsabout a doormat shaped like a greeting?
Made of felt and cut by hand, these might not be suitable for harsher climes, but you people in California can definitely rock this NO PROBLEM. The rest of us might have to settle for *just inside* the front door. Sigh.
Hello Rug, $116.00 @ John Pour Home
These doorknobs aren't just cool because they mimic ice cubes. The three-dimensional square just feels neat in the hand and the subtle styling adds flair to the mundane. It looks smashing when installed on a turn-of-, Deco, or mid-century home's interior door. And the carved brass hardware is just the ice-ing on the awesome design's cake.
Ice cube doorknob $32 @ anthropologie
What can I say? I have to have this. I just have to figure out how to convert dollars into Euros or pounds because I've only been able to find this OMG TOTALLY FREAKING AWESOME skull toaster (that sounds wrong, I know - toaster with skull insignia that burns skull image onto bread. Better) at sites based in the UK and Germany.
Will keep working on finding this in North America, because? MUST HAVE.
Skull Toaster, 29 EUR @ TomWet Hamburg
Okay, maybe it's a little dorky. But we all have a little dorky in us, right?
It's a rubics cube. And a digital clock. It's all old skool and shit.
We can't help but get a little nostalgic when using this 80's puzzle cube clock! Just like our fave toy, twist the top row to switch between date, time, alarm, or temperature.
Oh you know you want it. Stop pretending.
80s Cube Clock, $22.00 @ fredflare
I can't think of a better receptacle for soup, can you? Or ice cream, or cereal, or any other liquidy foodstuff that one might be tempted to swat with one's spoon in order to make a splash. With these bowls, you can just imagine the splash, and resist the temptation.
Or maybe you don't get those kind of mess-making urges. That's fine. You can just enjoy these bowls for the pretty pretty pieces of table decor that they are.
Splatter Bowls, $24 - $74 @ Give Simple
Attention Husband-like person of Sweetney:
We totally need this awesome 60 in hand-tufted 100% New Zealand wool rug.
Kthxbai!
Love,
Me
PS: It has a cubist owl on it and shit!!!
Midnight-cream rug, $549.00 @ Twinkle Living
This sure as hell beats those wall-mounted plastic fish that sing, no? Sure, it's needlepoint, and yes, it's a pillow, but you can just tell the man in your life that it's especially designed for the fisherman (or fisherperson, whatever) with the discerning ass - what better fishing boat accessory than a needlepoint fish pillow on which to perch (PERCH - see what I did there? hahahaha) one's rear end while one tosses one's line in search of dinner?
Or, you could use it as home decor. Whatever floats your (*cough*) boat.
Porgy Fish Needlepoint Pillow, $120 (I know), @ The Well-Appointed House
Not that trees aren't best appreciated in their natural form and habitat, but still - don't standard paper products just get, you know, old, aesthetically speaking? Paper file folders especially - I don't care if they get gussied up in fancy colors, they still get frayed around the edges and just look, I don't know, papery.
These woodgrain file folders, on the other hand, look sturdy and cool. Maybe not quite as cool as having a forest view from your office window, but whatever. Harvested forest product worked into high design file folders are probably as close as you're going to get.
Grobals. I know. The name of this product sounds like some dodgy medication that you hear about on late-night infomercials, the kind that gets hawked in all those e-mails that mercifully end up your spam folder (r yur balls too small? hot chks like big balls!).Which is only one reason why I'm sorely tempted to order these in my husband's name and have them delivered to his place of work.
The other reason is that these Grobals - not the testicular enhancement cream that no doubt exists somewhere - are just really cool. They're self-watering planters - which, if you have a black thumb, like me, is the only means by which any plant would survive in my household - and they're designed by Karim Rashid and they'd look awesome in my living room.
And if my husband doesn't get the package open before his colleagues start ribbing him, well, so much the funner.
Grobals, $21.75 @ Delight.com
I don't know how you encourage the little ones to keep up with their ABC's in your household, but you might consider incorporating it into cocktail hour. Just get a hold of these ABC highball glasses - okay, fine, they're actually custom monogrammed glasses, but whatever - and that way, when drinky-time rolls around you can get your drink on while teaching the kiddies the alphabet. What letter is Mommy drinking? A! That's right! And what words start with 'A'? Aperitif! Good!
Or, you could just order these with the letters of your initials. But what fun is that? Get the whole alphabet! If you're not up for the whole drunk homeschooling thing, you could always use them for drunk Scrabble. Good times!
Crystal Monogrammed Drinking Glasses, $90.00 @ GiveSimple
I bought a Skeem pillar about a year ago and have burned it on and off during that time -- it's STILL going, and still smells delightful. These are gorgeously styled in glass, and each Skeem line has it's own distinctive scent profiles. A little pricey for a candle, but worth every penny methinks.
Skeem Arboretum Pillar, $19.50 @ nooksandniches
This awesome table would be a total luxury piece if I was a gazzionlaire. Light passes through multicolored glass and shines onto the ground below. Small stones, beach glass, and handmade marbles surround and a luminous grid of glass set in steel-reinforced concrete. Stain- and weather resistant for use indoors or out. Drooooooool....
Jessie Coffee Table, $2,200.oo @ guild.com
I saw this candle at the Sundance Store in Park City UT a couple years back, and am so happy to have found it again at their online store. It's really a design marvel -- so clever!
Part sculpture, part candle, all conversation piece. Our beeswax candle coils upward from the burning plate and into clamping arms. Simply extend the wax to burn; the metal calipers will extinguish the flame immediately upon contact.
Illumination By The Inch Candle, $55.00 @ Sundance Catalog
There's only one problem that I can see with these vintage-print tea-towels - I would never want to use them as tea-towels. I would never want to mess up the image with spilled wine and crumbs of dried cheese (what? what do YOU spill in YOUR kitchen?). I would probably get myself some kind of cool tea-towel rack and hang them in such a way that the picture showed and then smack my husband's hand every time he reached for one. Which might deter him further from doing dishes, but it's not like he's particularly good at that to begin with, so. Better to preserve funky tea-towels than to worry to much about spousal household maintenance training.
Vintage Tea Towels, 4 in a box, $20.00 @ Give Simple
Okay, so you probably couldn't fix your hair properly looking in these mirrors, but does that really matter? They are THE AWESOME. Depending upon how and where you place them, these could either be totally sweet (little girl's bedroom?) or totally rock 'n' roll (my little girl's bedroom, above her collection of stuffed Fender Stratocasters) (remind me to post about those).
(They're made by a UK company, and you'd have to make special arrangements for shipping - there's a number you can call under shipping info - so they wouldn't come cheap, but hey: what price admission into the ranks of the cherubim, really?)
Mirrored Angel Wings, very expensive (price in pounds, and I don't have that key on my laptop) (169 pounds, which is what? A zillion US dollars?) @ Graham & Green
Because, you know, there are just times when the perfect gift really is just a jar of sunshine.
(You don't need me to tell you that a little jar of sunshine is, like, totally an awesomely eco-friendly little accessory because sunshine is a totally renewable resource - until, you know, it collapses into itself or explodes or whatever it is that's supposed to happen, in which case we're all going to be dead anyway - and way better than sucking up more fuel or electricity. You know that shiz already. I'm just here to tell you that as a gift? A little jar of sunshine is cool and sweet - in the aaaawwww, how adorable, what a sweet idea sense of the word - and how often do you see that?)
Well, so long as it's turned into something useful, like this cool clock made entirely of recycled circuit boards. A perfect one-of-a-kind gift for your favorite geek, the shop has a variety of designs to suit any taste.
Circuit Board Clock, $65.25 @DebbyAremDesigns
I'm sorta undecided about the aesthetics of this foot massage rug. I mean, the pebbles are pretty, but if you squint a bit it could look like some kind of, um, unpleasant mess on your floor. But that's probably just me. I live in world of too much toddler puke and cat barf. You see pretty stone mosaic, I see upchuck.
Anyhoo. You could always just put in your bathroom where, really, the benefits of a foot massage rug could really be maximized (getting out of shower onto warm pebbles? Niiiiiiiice.) Or right beside your bed, where those pretty pebbles could be the first and last things that your footsies feel in the day.
Because, really, if you've ever walked over warm smooth pebbles at a beach, you know how good that feels on the foots. So just don't squint at the thing, and I'm betting that you'll love it.
(Also? Eco-friendly! Made from hemp and hand-woven by fair-trade rock-loving river nymphs Thai artisans! AWESOME.)
Foot Massage Rug, $195 @ GiggleFish
The other day I said that I wanted a room full of Tetris chairs.
I've changed my mind.
I want one room full of Tetris charis, and another full of Fatboys (*snicker*). (Am resisting dirty jokes, and also Fatboy Slim jokes, which aren't as interesting as the former, but still.) Seriously - what would be more awesome than a room with, say, four full-size Fatboy beanbag pillow/chair thingies for jumping on/rolling over/lounging in/sequestering children in? Okay, maybe a room full of Fatboys with a (locked) bar fridge and a giant flatscreen programmed to play Dora on a continuous loop during the day (omg you could totally fire the nanny and the children wouldn't even notice) and back-to-back episodes of Lost at night.
I think that I just drooled a little, thinking about that.
Fatboys, up to $299 @ DesignPublic
Filing this under Thing I Will Buy Once I'm Independently Wealthy: despite its obvious impracticality I totally LOVE this decoupage plate from Bombus:
This large 48cm plater is decoupaged in vintage 1970's comic strip. It makes a great peice of wall art or a centre piece for a table. It is collaged with layers of cuttings then given a smooth plastic lacquer finish.
A bit pricey, but Bombus has a TON of reasonably priced paper goods that use recycled maps, atlases and newspapers. Awesome looking AND eco-friendly, folks! Win-win!
Comic Decoupage Plate, $185.00 @ Bombus
I love my cats, I really do, but there are times - when they're giving their claws a workout on my lovely Indian wool rug or my awesome houndstooth print wing chair, for example - when I don't so much like them, yanno? And because I hate the idea of declawing, and Pet Smart cat scratch towers are hideous and useless, I've just had to deal with these moments of profound and disheartening cat-scratchy frustration.
But now! There is hope! Stylin' cat scratch posts that you can fasten to the wall and imagine are some kind of postmodern eco-art! I have no idea whether they work or not - tho' I suppose you rub one with a bit of catnip and you're good to do - but given that they're not hideous and they're not hideously expensive, who cares?
Wallflower Scratcher from $35 - $42 @ Design Public
Okay, so, these are the geekiest things ever - EVER - but that doesn't make them any less desirable. TETRIS CHAIRS OMG. Can you imagine, like, having a whole room full of Tetris chairs, so that you could just go in there in the middle of the night when you can't sleep - or when you're really, really drunk - and move them around and try to make them fit together and then collapse on the floor in the middle of them all with your laptop or your iPhone and kick up an actual game of Tetris and say to yourself I am so META.
Or you could just get one, and sit in it while you rock the Tetris, and tell yourself the same thing. But the first scenario is way more fun.
Tetris Chairs, @ $220 each, @ Rakuten (sourced via Truemors)
So, I know that you don't know me, and that you probably don't go around buying gifts for total strangers, but here's the thing: I am eight and half months pregnant with my second kid and am not expecting a shower of any kind and wouldn't want anyone to go to that trouble anyway and even if they did it's really boy onesies and blue blankies and the whatnot that I need, but. I WANT THIS CHAIR. REAL BAD. Because, hello? It is the awesome.
So, um, you know, if you're feeling in the mood to lavish generous baby gifts on people you don't know - or, maybe, you know Tom Cruise and can convince him that miniature Eames chairs are a waaay better baby gift than fish tanks, and also, that he should direct some his largess my way - that'd be, like, cool. Yanno? Just sayin'.
Eames Miniature Elephant Chair $185.00, @ The MoMA Store
West Elm has always seemed sort of like a middling, mediocre version of modernism to me, but every now and then they come up with something inventive and surprising that forces me to rethink being so wholly dismissive of them. Take this Koi Table Lamp, for example. Sculptural, whimsical, and definitely a conversation piece, right?
"So, what in God's name made you decide to buy a lamp shaped like a fish?"
(chuckling smoothly:) "Well Bob, funny you should ask..."
Yep, that's a winner right there. A lamp guaranteed to win friends and influence people. SOLD.
Maybe I'll stop ferrying those West Elm catalogs directly into the recycling now... I SAID MAYBE. NO PROMISES.
Koi Table Lamp, $199.00 @ West Elm
Nothing says I've given up on life and am simply waiting now for the sweet, sweet release of death quite like Bingo, don't you agree? So why not bring a little bit of that defeat-mixed-with-existential-
despair-ish flavor to your home decor with this authentic vintage Bingo card clock? Wait -- why are you looking at me like that?
No, seriously, this clock is a harbinger of decay and death. But in a totally cool, boho-vintage kinda way. It's fun!
Bingo Clock, $35.00 @ Uncommon Goods
I'm completely enamored of the possibilities inherent in using wall decals instead of paint and/or wallpaper. The flexibility and inventiveness of decorating with decals, and the number of companies producing them, seems to be growing daily -- just have a look at Real Simple's awesome decal round-up and resource list. And then commence with struggling, like me, to stop your brain from re-imagining every flat surface in your home. I mean, that bland old refrigerator could use some spiffying up, couldn't it?
Sometimes there's not much beyond "blah" to say. So shut yer trap let this pillow do the talkin' for ya, mouthy.
Blah Blah Cushion, £42.00 @ donnawilson.com
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