We Covet Bypassing The Stairway To Heaven

Because, you know, it's probably the only way that you're going to get there. You can purchase the Essential Travel Kit for $12.79 - which includes a first class air ticket, thereby allowing you to fly and skip climbing those damn stairs - but for an extra $3 and change you can get the All Access Travel Kit, which gets you all the perks of the Essential Travel Kit and a VIP pass (laminated!), which will "grant you access to “VIP exclusive areas” including the Land of Milk and Honey and Thug Mansion, where all the elite get together and kick it."

AWESOME.

And for all of your dear enemies? Why not consider purchasing, on their behalf, an All Access Pass to Hell?

Reserve a spot in Heaven, $12.79 and up @ Reserveaspotinheaven.com